1. "Baby, just make sure you’re doing the drugs and the drugs aren’t doing you"
    — 30 year old woman I did cocaine with over the summer (via satan-clit)
     
  2. (Source: sunnysofa, via laughbitches)

     

    1. God: you have to die so their sins can be forgiven
    2. Jesus:
    3. Jesus:
    4. Jesus:
    5. Jesus: i just came here to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now
     

  3. allkillernofiller:

    real talk how often are you meant to change your bra

    (via relahvant)

     

  4. lexikittypop:

    Nothing will fuck up your twenties more than thinking you’re supposed to have your shit together

    (Source: fkatwigsbabyhair, via relahvant)

     
  5. ohh-bother:

    pixiedust-paycheck:

    I can’t

    Walk into the club like what up I got a big flock

    (Source: mainstreetmickey, via relahvant)

     

  6. hellyeahyums:

    the-gingerdancer:

    sextronautt:

    how can lawyers argue without crying 

    or swearing

    if i went into a courtroom i’d be all

    now you fucking listen here you little cumslut 

    "he has been found guilty

    "HA IN YOUR FUCKING FACES, BITCHES."

    (via pizza)

     

  7. momsdildo:

    riingabel:

    quirkybrittany:

    i want to study at a British university

    i will spell color as colour and use degrees celcius. i would watch Sherlock on BBC all night while drinking a cuppa tea with my flatmates. i’ll have fish and chips every day that’s worth 5 quid. i would go to gaff parties every nighti am also more likely to meet chavsOne Direction, Ed Sheeran and the Queen.

    i wish i was british :(

    fuck off, we dont want u here

    ew fuck off quirkybrittany

    (via pizza)

     

  8. lezsmokelove:

    Lesbians are going to crash Netflix tomorrow

    (via beforemymomentsgone)

     
  9. strawberry-taffy:

    my tiny worrisome asian mother strikes again (part 1)

    (via laughbitches)

     

  10. godfrapp:

    Does anyone else go on Wikipedia to look something up and then click on a bunch of random links and then half an hour later you’re 10 articles deep into the inner workings of Vietnamese politics

    (Source: waitrose, via relahvant)

     
  11.  
  12. nintendontdodrugs:

    orchid-ink:

    iraffiruse:

    Satisfying things

    being a human is so weird

    THE DVD LOGO HIT THE CORNER, THE CORNERRRRR.

    (via pizza)

     
  13. Head is well and truly made up of space, self pity, and general candy floss type fuzz. Where has my strong head gone?!

     
  14. (Source: existences, via pegrfsx)